![]() ![]() If you're using a penis, then definitely go ahead and use a more viscous silicone-based lube because it'll last longer and feel better! So tops, now you know to have silicone lube for anal sex, and you know to apply it abundantly. (Remember, the anus isn't self-lubricating!). Then you really need to reapply frequently because water-based lube dries out quickly. If you're having sex with a silicone toy, you need to use a water-based lube as not to destroy the toy. Then apply more lube directly on the toy or penis. If you don't a lube applicator, put lube on your finger, and then insert your finger into your anus. It's also not a bad idea to get a lube applicator (AKA lube shooter), so the lube can get up inside your rectum. Your apartment should turn into a slip-n-slide. It should be everywhere by the time you're done. I'm imagining the famous SNL sketch starring Christopher Walken where he says "more cowbell," but instead, he's saying, "more lube." Use as much lube as goddamn possible. Otherwise, they would know "shit happens," and they wouldn't be rude about it!) Seriously though, if a partner shames you for not being clean, break up with them! They suck! (Oh, and for tips on how to anal douche before having sex, check out this anal hygiene guide!) 4. If your partner shames you for not being pristine, they're the asshole here-not your asshole! (And odds are, they've never had anything inside of their anus. It's all part of the experience, baby! You have to expect to get a little dirty when you're rolling around in the mud. I have pooped on and been pooped on more times than I can count. I've had anal sex as both the top and bottom thousands of times. If you poop, it is not the end of the world. I don't mean to keep focusing on feces, but as a sex writer and educator, I cannot tell you how many poop-related questions I get regarding anal, so I know it's necessary to address. If you do poop, it isn't the end of the world. Again, this is due to incidental bladder pressure. (This is totally normal and healthy and a sign that the person who's touching your prostate is doing something right!)Įven if you don't have a prostate, it can still feel like you have to pee during sex. If you have a penis and prostate, you may also be getting "milked", and ejaculate may ooze from your penis. So many new sensations, am I right? If you have a prostate, it can push up against your bladder when stimulated, making you feel like you have to pee. It may also feel like you're peeing, but you're not! Just know that you are not actively popping while having anal sex! (LOL!) With time, you get used to the feeling and uncouple the pooping sensation from the act of sex.Ģ. So I've associated the feelings with defecating. Until that point, the only sensation I had experienced in my rectum is the passage of feces. I briefly touch on this in the intro, but I honestly thought I was pooping the entire time he was penetrating me. It may feel like you're pooping, but you're not. These tips are primarily for bottoms, but I also include some tips for first-time tops. As they say, be the change you want to see in the world, so without further ado, here are eight things I wish I knew about anal sex before having it. 8 Things I wish I knew before having anal sexīut it took me a while to reach this point, and I wish someone had sat me down and gave me advice before my first time bottoming. I put anything and everything up my rear whenever I get the chance (which has, sadly, been few and far between due to Ms. Now, I am a seasoned anal queen who loves butt stuff. With her help and expertise, I tried anal play again, and finally, then, I understood what all the fuss was about. She was really into anal play on guys and told me I had gone about it all wrong. After the experience, I figured that being a bottom wasn't for me. ![]() And I didn't feel any of the euphoric pleasure that I thought one was supposed to experience from anal and prostate stimulation. When I tell you I did not enjoy the experience, I did not enjoy the experience. The entire time we were having sex, I kept asking, "Am I pooping on you?" He kept saying "No," until, frustrated, he shouted, "If you poop, you poop! Stop asking!" It was with this man I had been dating, and I trusted him. The first time I had anal sex as the bottom, I was 23. That's why I thought being the bottom would be a walk in the park. They just took it, like goddamn champions. (And guess what? I did!) They didn't tell me to slow down or to use more lube. ![]() They were as clean as a whistle that you could eat every last part of their behind. The anal bottoms (receptive anal partners) I had sex with were pros. Now I had topped (been the insertive anal partner) many times before with men, women, and nonbinary babes. Not literally, thank God, but emotionally and spiritually, I was in shambles. The first time I had anal sex was a mess. ![]()
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